Hi, folks. Here is what I have written for my portion of our final project. If y'all will send me your pieces, I'll work up a summary to tie them together, as we discussed.
Patient's Family and Friends Prepare for the End of This Life
The Jewish tradition recognizes the inevitability of death. While there are some few individuals in the Jewish Scriptures – Enoch, Serah (the daughter of the patriarch Asher), and Elijah come immediately to mind – who are not recorded as having died and whom the tradition honors as not having died, death does come to the rest of us. That being so, the Jewish tradition has necessarily developed way of dealing with death.
Traditionally, we do not speak the name of death, either prospectively or retrospectively. One “passes on” or “is niftar” (literally, departed or set free) or “departs this life” or “goes on to the world-to-come,” but one does not “die.” Still, one approaching death usually knows it, and the family often knows it as well, unwilling as they may be to acknowledge it, and the Jewish tradition, which is theologically concerned primarily concerned with behavior rather than creed, has developed rubrics for the dying process, both for the dying individual (if he or she is sufficiently conscious) and for her or his family.
First of all, we may not take any action that might accelerate the dying process. “Heroic measures” are not required, but the withholding of nutrition and hydration is highly problematic. Life is of the highest value in Judaism; all religious laws, with the exceptions of the prohibitions of idolatry, adultery, and murder, take second place to the preservation of life. The tradition frowns on explicitly telling the family that their loved one is nearing death (and even more so on telling the patient), but the family needs to know that the situation is very grave. Modern medical practice has somewhat modified this reluctance, but traditional Judaism still hesitates to tell patient and family that death is approaching.
Just as inducing death is forbidden, so is artificially prolonging the dying process. Once a patient has entered the actual dying process (and there may be differences of opinion on just when that occurs), it is forbidden to take any action other than normal medical care to stop the death. The Talmudic sages expressed it as “not placing salt under the tongue,” lest the surprise of the salty taste rouse the dying patient. Similarly, sudden noises that might rouse the dying patient are forbidden.
Earlier, however, as death seems to be approaching, although still at a distance, it is customary to lead the patient through a confessional litany. The tradition directs us, however, to tell the patient not to make too much of the confessional, for “many have confessed and still lived, and many have not confessed and yet have failed to live.”
Because Judaism is concerned with modes of behavior, and because one who is no longer in this life no longer has a behavior, the Jewish tradition has historically not concerned itself with developing a firm belief concerning what happens beyond the grave. Consequently, almost any opinion is tolerated as legitimate.
* There are those (relatively few among those who consider themselves “religious,” whether orthodox or liberal) who believe that this life is all there is.
* Majority opinion in the tradition tends to some sort of judgment, based on how the deceased has behaved in this life. Curiously, the tradition teaches that the judgment is weighted in our favor. The Talmudic sages teach that one who aids a poor person is judged based not only on the aid directly given but on the person’s family and descendants down to the end of time. One who steals, however, is judged only according to the actual weight of the money (or items) stolen.
* The mystical tradition within Judaism teaches that we return to this life time and again, until, so to speak, we get it right. Many tales are told of individuals who returned to this life because they had a particular transgression to rectify or a particular failing in their spiritual attainments which they needed to complete, and some of the Hassidic masters were able to assert that they knew their particular previous lives. One in particular, Rabbi Jacob Isaac of Lublin, Poland, is said to have been able to discern all an individual’s past lives upon first meeting him or her. It is said that a certain man came to the rabbi’s office with his hat pulled down low on his forehead, as if to prevent the rabbi from seeing through. “Fool,” the rabbi said to him. Do you imagine that an eye which can see your past lives will be unable to see through your hat?”
These three positions – this is all there is, judgment, and the recycling of the soul – effectively define the spectrum which encompasses virtually every Jewish perspective concerning the far side of the grave.
The Jewish tradition mandates that the body be buried without embalming. Cremation is not permitted, as it unnaturally accelerates the return of the body to the dust from which, Genesis teaches, it was formed. Embalming likewise is not permitted because it unnaturally delays that process. In circumstances where health considerations necessitate it, either cremation or embalming would be permitted, as considerations of the health of those who are still in this life is the greatest priority.
After death, the body is prepared by washing. Many congregations, especially those which are very traditional in their practice, have a “holy committee” whose members have been educated in the ritual washing process. Every Jewish funeral establishment also has its committee of ritual washers. The body is not left unattended from the moment of death until the burial, and, again, both synagogues and funeral establishments maintain staffs of “watchers.”
The casket is closed as soon as the body is placed within it, and it is not again opened. The Jewish tradition considers it unseemly to stare at an individual who is unable to stare back. Burial traditionally takes place not later than the day following the death, unless special circumstances dictate a delay. Because the tradition recognizes the difficulty of family and friends coming from a great distance on extremely short notice, it is not considered bad form if geographically distant family members or friends fail to attend a funeral. Those who do not attend the funeral will often come to a second ceremony, the unveiling of the tombstone or other grave marker, generally conducted about a month after the funeral.
At burial, it is customary for the immediate family (and often the other mourners as well) personally to fill in the grave, at least until the casket has been covered. We do not consign our dead to strangers.
The immediate family – child, sibling, spouse, and parent – are obligated, ujnder traditional Jewish religious law, to observe certain prescribed mourning practices. These practices are structured in a way that acknowledges the intensity of the loss and that also moves the mourners step by step back to “normal” life.
From the time of death until the burial, the mourners are exempt from virtually all positive commandments. They do not attend the synagogue; they do not put on prayer garments; they are not even obligated to recite the daily prayers.
For the first week of mourning, commencing with the day of burial and concluding an hour after sunrise on the seventh day, the mourners do not leave home, except on the Sabbath and on a Festival, should one occur during this period. In traditional communities, which observe the traditionally obligatory recitation of prescribed prayers three times a day, prayer services will be held in the mourners’ home. During this time, the mourners refrain from their work, from bathing or anointing their bodies (except for reasons of health), from sexual relations, from washing clothes, from cleaning house, and from cutting their hair. All mirrors in the house of mourning will be covered.
From the end of this seven-day period until thirty days after burial, a less intense set of mourning practices is observed. The mourners continue to refrain from cutting their hair and from attending any celebrations or entertainment. They do, however, go about other normal activities.
After this month-long period of mourning, the mourners’ immediate obligations are completed, with three exceptions.
One who has lost a parent continues certain mourning practices until eleven moths after the date of death. In particular, bereaved children refrain from cutting their hair until their closest friends comment on its length. After that, they go ahead and have their hair cut as they normally do. They may attend, but not host, celebrations.
All mourners recite certain memorial prayers at all communal worship services during their period of mourning – eleven months for a parent, one month for other relatives. Then, each year, on the anniversary of the death, the mourners recite those same prayer in memory of their deceased relative. In communities where daily services are not the norm, these prayers will be recited on the Sabbath closest to the anniversary date. Finally, certain other memorial prayers will be recited on certain Festival days by those who have lost a parent.
The Jewish tradition generally does not distinguish between one type of death and another, with one exception. A person who has taken his or her own life is traditionally not accorded normal burial rites and is buried outside the main portion of the cemetery; such a person’s relatives are not obligated to observe the rituals of mourning. That having been said, almost every rabbi, even among the most strictly observant of the Orthodox, subscribes to the idea that, because there is the possibility – minimal though it may be in some circumstances – that the individual may have experienced a moment of sincere regret and repentance, s/he may have atoned for the transgression of suicide. Consequently, a suicide will, in practice, be accorded the same burial mourning ruituals as anyone else.